she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
