thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
