Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
