I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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