I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
