So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
