Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
