So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
