It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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