Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
