Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
