white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
