I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
