this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
