Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
