drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
