Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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