Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
