Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
