I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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