Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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