Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
