You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I understand Curling. That high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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