okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
