i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
