Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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