I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
