I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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