remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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