vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
