Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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