And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
