Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
