I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
