So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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