you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
