Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
