I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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