I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
