is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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