Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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