We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
