Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
