When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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