I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
