Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
