I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I need help removing her.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
