You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
