On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
