he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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